YOUR WEEKLY "LOST" UPDATE

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR MR. EKO...
THE BIG MAN WITH THE BIG STICK DIED LAST NIGHT...CONTINUING THE TREND OF CAST MEMBERS WHO GET PULLED OVER FOR DWI IN REAL LIFE...THEN GET KILLED ON THE SHOW...
EKO...WAS OFFED BY THE MYSTERIOUS BLACK SMOKE...WHICH TOOK ON THE SHAPE OF HIS DEAD BROTHER AND LOTS OF OTHER FOLKS HE MURDERED ALONG THE WAY...
AND I'M KIND OF BUMMED. I LIKED EKO. IN FACT, HE WAS PROBABLY MY THIRD FAVORITE CHARACTER BEHIND SAWYER AND LOCKE...IT JUST SEEMED SO ANTICLIMATIC...AND USUALLY WHEN A CHARACTER DIES...WE LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE...THAT DIDN'T SEEM TO HAPPEN LAST NIGHT...EXCEPT THAT DARK DAYS ARE AHEAD FOR OUR CASTAWAYS...
"DUH"

WHAT ELSE DID WE LEARN...
* THOSE X-RAYS WITH THE SPINAL TUMOR...THOSE WERE, IN FACT, CREEPY BEN'S...
* JULIET IS TRICKY...AND SHE WANTS JACK TO BOTCH THE SURGERY, KILL BEN AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT
* WE GOT A GLIMPSE OF SOME GUY WITH AN EYEPATCH WATCHING OUR GUYS IN THE HATCH...AND IS HE MAYBE CONTROLLING THE BLACK SMOKE??
* AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...AFTER BEING SLAUGHTERED BY THE BLACK SMOKE....WITH HIS DYING BREATH, EKO TOLD LOCKE AND THE REST OF THE LOSTIES THAT..."THEY WERE NEXT"...
...CREEEEPPYYYY...
* OH...AND ONE OTHER THING...THE TWO NEW "LOSTIES" THEY INTRODUCED LAST NIGHT? WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK? I HATED 'EM. THEY SEEMED THROWN IN...AND HONESTLY, I DON'T NEED TO SIT THROUGH ANYBODY ELSE'S BACKSTORY...HOPEFULLY, THEY'RE JUST THERE FOR BODY COUNT...

NEXT WEEK...THE LAST "LOST" UNTIL NEXT YEAR...THE PREVIEW BOASTED NAKED BODIES...YELLING...AND SAWYER AT THE BUSINESS END OF A PISTOL...
THEY'RE BILLING IT AS THE "BEST EPISODE YET"...AND FRANKLY...I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT BECAUSE...WELL...I HAVEN'T BEEN EXACTLY THRILLED WITH SEASON 3 SO FAR...
NOT THAT I'M GONNA LEAVE THE SHOW OR ANYTHING...
I'M LIKE AN ABUSED WIFE...I'LL JUST KEEP COMING BACK...
NO MATTER HOW MEAN HE IS TO ME...